


Five ways Tony Stark Doesn't Die

by spiderweb_wine



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: 1 of those 5 things is RPF, 5 Things, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 10:50:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderweb_wine/pseuds/spiderweb_wine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(The movie *is* the happy ending.  There are so many ways it could have gone worse.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five ways Tony Stark Doesn't Die

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, that was mean.

**1\. In the universe of ordinary military medicine.**

Stark’s chest is crushed, even with the protection of body armour. His missiles, though that was last decade’s design, are frighteningly effective. He’s semi-lucid with terror, his eyes black holes as he struggles to breathe, and Yinsen’s hands are shaking. Yinsen’s hands never shake. That’s why his captors let him live, four months ago. That’s why they’re sweating now, watching the fine tremor in his hands the same way he’s watching Stark’s uneven breaths. Yinsen picks two of the calmest men to help him in this most delicate of surgeries, but really there’s not much he can do with chloroform-soaked gauze and razor blades sterilized in alcohol.

Then Stark wakes up in the middle of it, screams and flails and arches his back under the hands holding him down and bleeds out through Yinsen’s fingers.

Raza calls his contacts in L.A. and tells the snipers to put a bullet through Obadiah Stane’s floor-to-ceiling office windows.

 

**2\. In the universe where boxes of scraps aren’t enough.**

Tony dies in the cave, beside Yinsen’s makeshift pallet of rice sacks. With the weight of the armour, and the shock of seeing his companion dying, his aim is a little off. Just a little, just enough that Raza isn’t out cold. Tony takes too long talking, and the armour isn’t good enough. It’s not Tony’s fault; he didn’t have the right materials or enough time. Still, his back isn’t as well protected as his front, and Raza’s second bullet enters behind his left arm and tears through his heart.

 

**3\. In the universe where the rules of physics are followed.**

“Okay, let’s see if 10% thruster capacity will achieve lift.”

Tony straps his newest weapon onto the bottom of his feet and launches himself into the concrete ceiling with more force than he’s calculated. His math is always right, but he didn’t double check this one because he hasn’t slept in 53 hours, and it’s a fatal error, a broken neck at the level of the C3 vertebra. Tony can’t breathe, can’t feel that he’s twisted into the lab equipment at a gruesome angle. Technically, Jarvis should know what to do, but he’s non-corporeal. Dummy and Butterfingers aren’t equipped to deal with spinal-cord injuries. Pepper is out shopping.

Obadiah comes to the funeral and stands tall and black and silent and doesn’t smile.

 

**4\. In the universe where Obadiah Stane makes a mistake.**

The night of the Fireman’s Benefit, Obadiah’s driver gets the flu. He’s sick all over the long shiny Rolls, and Obadiah tells his assistant to take the driver home, then calls someone else to come get the car cleaned up. It’s late, and it’s raining, and he accepts the offer of a ride home from Tony, who promises, pinky-swear and secret handshake, to drive “in a sane and reasonable manner.”

The ride home turns into a ride back to Tony’s place for some of the good scotch Dad stashed away and maybe Obie can stay awhile? So it’s some minutes until Obadiah can get the conversation where he wants it, and he doesn’t tell Tony about filing the injunction against him until they’re about a block away from the house.

Tony is a genius. His mind goes through all possible futures like they’re chess moves, flick flick flick… A block is plenty of time. He can always feel the arc reactor there in his chest and he’s conscious, now, of its slight buzz. He turns the car towards the driveway, shifts up through the gears, accelerates, plunges across the expanse of his lawn. The Audi traces a parabolic curve out from the cliff towards the Pacific Ocean.

Tony has his eyes closed and Stane’s last scream is all the sweet revenge he needs.

 

**5\. In the Hollywood fishbowl universe.**

Robert Downey Jr.’s schedule doesn’t work out.

Johnny Depp lands the part of Tony Stark. There is an option for him to appear in an Avengers adaptation next year if this movie goes well. Brad Pitt will be the first choice for Captain America. It will be the first time they’ve worked together since that episode of 21 Jump Street, long ago.

The movie tanks. Avengers probably won’t get the green light.

Johnny calls a couple of friends in New York, and slips back into functioning alcoholism. The Pirates franchise dies quietly, now that Johnny isn’t really Disney-wholesome material, and Robert gets that part in Alice In Wonderland.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted to amonitrate's LJ


End file.
